Amadeus the Chaos

It was twenty days ago today,

Sgt. Ammo told his poopscoop’s hey 

They’ve been lacking quite a lot sleep

As poop is followed by a weep

So may I introduce to you,

The act you’ve known for all these days

Sgt. Ammo’s Lonely Poopscoop Band

We’re Sgt. Ammo’s Lonely Poopscoop Band

We hope you keep enjoying our blog

We’re Sgt. Ammo’s Lonely Poopscoop Band

We try not to make his diaper clog

Sgt. Ammo’s Lonely, Sgt. Ammo’s Lonely, Sgt. Ammo’s Lonely Poopscoop Band

It’s wondeful to write here

It’s certainly a thrill

You’re such a lovely audience

We’d like to take you home with us

We’d love to take you home

I don’t really wanna stop the blog

But I thought you might like to know

That Ammo’s on instagram

And he like you to be a fan

So let me introduce to you

The one and only “boobandpoop”

And Sgt. Ammo’s Lonely Poopscoop Band

Well, lost for words really. Where did this fella come from?

Granted, after poopscoop2 decided to get jiggy with the diapers, there was no telling what was next. Flying pigs wouldn’t have surprised me, but this guy was a bit left field. The mammoth asked if I had seen some squirrel looking for a nut. I told him I had two, but that it would be a dead squirrel who’d come looking for those.

-Ammo

So two weeks in, I’m beginning to warm to life on the outside. I’m even gonna go as far as saying I’m enjoying it. In fact, I have come up with a point system to rank current events so far.

8 points;  sleeping

10 points; eating

12 points; poopscoop1

For those of you wondering if poopscoop2 got any points, you kidding right? He can’t even spell diaper, let alone change one. Poopscoop2 my ass (not even sure he knows I have one)..

-Ammo

Fart like a butterfly, shit like a bee.

-Ammo

There I was, just minding my own business. When out of nowhere, a bloody bear attacked!

After an epic battle he ran for the hills, whilst I ate his porridge.

Yeah, that’s right bear, I ate your porridge.

-Ammo

In 2016, a crap commander was sent to bed by a parental court without being tired. This man promptly escaped the bedroom to the Living Room underground. Tonight, still wanted by the sleep fairy, he survives as a soldier of charm.
If you need to stay awake – if caffeine cannot help – and if you can handle him – maybe you can hire: The Ammo.

Woop! Woop!

Or not. First dip today. As if I was short on things to worry about. 

-Ammo

Shit just got interesting. 

It seems every time I poop, they scoop – let them be known as poopscoop1 and poopscoop2. 

Poopscoop 1 does most the work AND she deals me the good stuff aka white dreams, snoozebooze, lady lullaby. You know the stuff I’m talking about. Poopscoop2 on the other hand, well, lets just say he seems to be living by the “less is more” principle when it comes to scooping poop.

-Ammo

Never mind the weirdo elephant, now there is a feckin’ giraffe here too. What is this? A zoo?

No wonder they tried to make me look like a cat. These people are obsessed.

Sit rep; been here a week. Think I’d like to go back to where I came from please. 

-Ammo

You folks enjoy your friday.

I’m not. Apparently I’m not to be trusted -so much so they even put me in a straightjacket. 

I mean, come on – I am 6 days already..

Oh, and that creepy elephant keeps on following me everywhere. Weirdo.

-Ammo